did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
