What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I stole a fireplace last night.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
