'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
