only if we run a train.
done.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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