He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
there is glitter all over my balls
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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