she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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