the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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