Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
