Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
