is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
