using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
