he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
