it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize