So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
