A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
