Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
operation have a gay friend backfired
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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