phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
