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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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