This is not my ceiling
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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