I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
