nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
