Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize