How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
