I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
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they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize