I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
