I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
