apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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