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• (716): View more from New York

  On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar

  (1-716): View more from New York

  I think you broke the trashy scale

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?

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• (713): View more from Texas

  So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum

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• (845): View more from New York

  How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  thank you pre-med degree.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??

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