My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize