there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I had to cum in my sink.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
