she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize