Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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