I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
