so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
