Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Drunk is not a location!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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