Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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