tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
His nipple licking is glorious
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