He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
