i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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