i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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