Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
