dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
