I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
