I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
