just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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