Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize