dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She's the barista slut.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
