I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
