I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
last night I used snow as a chaser
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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