i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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