____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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