Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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