pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you win again, gameday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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