Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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