dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
