Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
