The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
