My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
