How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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