i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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