im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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