i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Never underestimate the power of titties
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
