Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
my poor anus
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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